Say it ain’t so…
So I will say it. It has been way too long since I have updated this blog, and for the total of 5 people that are my devoted readers I apologize for not fulfilling your satirical palette. I am going to make my New Year’s resolution early. Post at least a few (possibly only one) time per month… really just to let everyone know that I am still alive and am continuing to write sentences that bring answers to solutions and solutions to questions. The sense I make is purely my own. Enjoy and welcome back to you and me.
Botox Causes Mutations in Beverly Hills pt. 2
The explosion of the mini van opened the door for a nationwide search to uncover similar labs throughout other major metropolitan areas. The investigation turned up significant evidence showing these types of makeshift laboratories in numbers estimated at over three hundred in other major cities. These discoveries, while hard to believe were more than just an underground ring of pharmaceutical tampering and dealing. Even more shocking were the other cases similar to Ms. Hallowbrook’s case in Beverly Hills. It appears other vestigial organs started to appear in other parts of the body, away from the topical area that received the injections. One case included a four-foot long tail that looked like a slimy rear of a tadpole growing from the tailbone of a woman in Manhattan. The woman consented to diagnostic testing on the tail, which was safely removed by an elite team of tumor surgeons from University of Ithaca’s Oncology department. The tests are still incomplete, but the existence of the tail contradicts the theory of Dr. Austin Montrose, who was convinced that the Hallowbrook case proved the evolution of humans from bird or winged descent.
Botox corporate offices were contacted regarding the mysterious growths of vestigial organs. No comment was given except for a recorded message from a top public relations firm that represents a number of pharmaceutical companies including Bristol Meyers, Pfizer, and Johnson and Johnson. The message said: “Botox is a formula that has been tested and retested over multiple research thresholds to prove its consistency and quantifiable affects on improving the look of moderate to severe frown lines between the glabellar lines in adults younger than 65 years of age for a short period of time. Any manipulation to the formula patented under the brand Botox releases liability of our company and other practitioners who administer our quality product.” Numerous attempts to reach the pr firm that represents Allergan, makers of Botox, have been unsuccessful.
The investigation by the government task force is ongoing and there does not appear to be an end in site. The District Attorney of Los Angeles who is trying the case is hoping to reveal valuable information during the trial that will support the Federal investigation. There is a serious risk to receiving any injections by even reputable doctors within Los Angeles County. It is uncertain how much of the altered formula was sold, and leaked into the Botox market. It is advised by poison control* that if any abnormal growths begin to protrude from under the skin that affected parties should contact the local office immediately.
*Further Poison Control Contact Information is found on their web-site: http://www.botoxcosmetic.com/resources/contact_allergan.aspx
Botox Causes Mutations in Beverly Hills
On August 21, 2008 at approximately 5:22 a.m. Cynthia Hallowbrook, aged 29 years old was rushed into the emergency room at a private Beverly Hills cosmetic surgery hospital complaining of an unusual bump underneath the recently administered Botox injections in her cheeks. The operating surgeon Dr. Oberhaus was unavailable for comment when contacted by local media that had been alerted of the adverse effects of the highly popular injections. When her parents phoned the offices to find out the status of their daughter, the secretarial assistant, who wishes to remain unnamed, denied anything outside of a routine follow-up appointment. A week later Ms. Hallowbrook died of “natural causes”.
The day that Ms. Hallowbrook, exited the surgery center from her final “follow-up” appointment, at around 3:00 p.m. We caught up with her tucking into a private black Escalade, which we found belonged to Dr. Oberhaus’s clinic. The photograph we took of Hallowbrook reveals a large diagonal scar on the right side of her nose. The photograph was then analyzed by celluloid experts and a digital facial recognition specialist. The experts found what they believed to be the emergence of a vestigial organ adjacent to her nose. The photo of the disfigurement is the only evidence, prior to Hallobrook’s death, to show that Botox triggers vestigial organs to grow at exponential rates in the human body.
The autopsy performed revealed an abnormal bone growth behind the esophagus and nasal cavity that collapsed her respiratory tract and asphyxiated Hallowbrook. The true cause was a severe case of botulism. Given the bizarre nature of this late onset bone growth, caused by the elective surgery, it sparked the interest of the Natural History Museum. The Museum sent in a team from their local laboratory in Pasadena to Dr. Oberhaus’s clinic on Rexford Dr. in Beverly Hills. The paleontologists, who examined the body after the autopsy, found the bone obtrusion was not a nose, but a beak. The leading paleontologist, Dr. Austin Montrose, who recorded the initial discovery was quoted by the Beverly Hills Chronicle saying, “The findings of the beak-like structure underneath the skin suggest that evolutionary theory may be inaccurate. The origin or source of homo erectus may in fact be birds.”
The Doctor’s comments created an uproar in the local Beverly Hills cosmetic community that relies on Dr. Oberhaus for their injections. A red alert e-mail was sent to his patients who receive the injections stating, “If abnormal signs appear, such as lesions, or bones protruding from areas of the skin where the injections are administers to come in to the office immediately.” This e-mail was leaked to our research department by one of Oberhaus’s patients who wanted to maintain completely anonymous.
One year after Hallowbrook’s death in August of 2007, investigative work by the Beverly Hills Police Force, finally uncovered a critical piece of evidence to her death. The discovery was made on a hot afternoon in July. The temperature was a record breaking 107 degrees in the flatlands of BH, spiking electric bills and slowing the pace of local residents on Alpine Dr. The reporting officer Dennis Hendricks was facing west on Elevado Ave perpendicular to Alpine. Officer Hendricks noticed a 1984 white Astro Van with the license plate BTXIC2. The officer decided that since the car was not a BMW or Mercedes, he should pursue with extreme caution. He removed his .38 revolver from his black nylon shoulder holster and approached the double doors on the rear of the van. The officer report stated there was no movement from anywhere inside the vehicle. He then opened the door to find a makeshift laboratory that looked like a homemade chemistry kit built by fourteen year olds. Bottles of empty Botox were strewn out all over the floor mats of the van. When the officer attempted to call for ballistics on the bottles he smelled a noxious odor coming from out of the van. It smelled like cat urine, and before the Officer could return to the vehicle from his squad car, the van exploded into pieces of fiery shrapnel.
The explosion attracted children from the local elementary school, who were fascinated by the burning car. The chemicals in the car caused random explosions like popcorn, which formed an impromptu fireworks display for the kids. They stood around at the corner with their parents and maids, pointing at the Officer and laughing as he ran around in circles, trying to avoid being hit by the bombardment of chemical mortars shot out from the car. Meanwhile, officer Hendricks was on his walkie-talkie requesting back up. The playback of his recorded call to the station said, “Help! All hell… is breaking loose in Beverly Hills (Static)… Botox, fire, and children (Pause) are all over the place.” The call was received by the station at 3:10 p.m., and backup was not deployed for another forty-five minutes to assist the officer. Fortunately, a passing truck full of gardeners heading home for the day spotted the officer in distress and jumped from the car, hooked up their hoses and doused the flames. The gardeners put the fire out, much to the dismay of the onlookers. Some of the kids even booed at the success of the gardeners.
The incident spawned a federal investigation to determine the cause of the explosion. The remnants of the blast, combined with the one full bottle of Botox recovered by Officer Hendricks, lead authorities to believe the Astro Van was functioning as a primary supplier to multiple Beverly Hills cosmetic surgeons. Doctors were reportedly using the diluted Botox to increase profit margins on the injections. The diluted formula also required patients to get double the typical amount needed to loosen the nerve tissue. The problem with this underground of Botox knock off serums is Cynthia Hallowbrook. She along with twelve other mysterious deaths in the Beverly Hills area in the last year, are now being unearthed to identify the true cause of their passing.
If the theory of the Federal Government behind the deaths is accurate, the chemicals mixed in with the Botox are to blame as the culprit behind the killings. The Doctors who administered the degraded Botox have been subpoenaed, but the court date for a preliminary trial has not been set. If any of these Doctors were aware of, or participated in the remanufacture of the Botox, they will face charges of gross negligence, malpractice, and maybe even murder.
Where the End Begins
The shattered destiny of an illusion brings to mind ancient philosophical texts rebirth in the early modernist work of Descartes. In a newly invented way of expressing thought, without the Hellenistic language or contemporary symbolism of Michael McClure; the “wall of flowers” is being torn down.
It was not until 1989 when the wall fell in Berlin. I walk past a piece of that wall M-Th and I suffer because of the overwhelming sense of freedom that washes over me. What is liberty? I admire the victims of Fascism that gave their lives to that light, that symbol that was embodied only by hope. Hope needs a home. The eyes of a child in East Berlin gazing at the wall, and imagining what is on the other side. Is it not everything? If we do not know what is on the other side of something the wonder that Socrates says is the beginning of thought, the beginning of understanding cannot exist.
We lay ignorant to the imagination. It is an untapped source unexploited (except by television) and open to possibility. Picture that same child, with a glimmer of hope in his eyes, staring at the clouds in the sky; forming shapes of what freedom looks like. It is an image untarnished by the war, by the imprisonment of ideas, imagination lays unharnessed by possibility. Einstein said that, “I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” It was th artist in Einstein that allowed him to reach beyond the commonality of thought and attain universality.
This is the goal of the true artist that sees the end as only the beginning, draws upon their fears and travels back in time to express them in a medium people can view. If we look at the mind as the epicenter of thought that allows travel in time, imaginationation may be the ‘key’ to unlocking a dimension that only the liberty of thought could produce. To refrain from too many cliche references, I will say only this… the greatest minds believed the end did not exist, because imagination lead to transport into a blackhole with a light at the end.
WAKE Up! There is a New Sheriff in Town
Have you ever felt that the Sheriff car that passes you everyday may not be watching you? In fact he probably isn’t watching you. In most metropolitan cities throughout the United States local Sheriff turnover is skyrocketing. Why is this? Because crime is down and so are wages, pension plans, and it truly is not utilitarian to risk your life for people you don’t know. I mean let’s face it… what is the probability you would risk your life for your immediate family (brother, sister, mother, etc..) now extend that out to your extended family. Yes, just as I thought, not so likely anymore. If I asked you the same question about risking your life for a complete stranger, I am going to say your answer of no would be pretty definitive. This excludes the do gooder heroic types that exist only in the movies and from past generations where human values still had a place in popular ideology.
Day in and day out, local officials attempt to control our daily lives at the behest of state and city officials. For what? The answer is plain and simple, a pay check. I don’t fault them for being like every other American (insert patriotic comment here), but do we not hold those that are responsible for our lives to a different standard. Should their motivations be to serve the people, preserve the people, and in the end be rewarded handsomely for their actions.
I happen to agree with ideology that if you pay people enough that they do not have to struggle to make it in their relative town, city, etc.. they will be less likely to concern themselves with their own general welfare and pay closer attention to serving more selfless purposes. Let me step back for anyone that would like to criticize that example with an abuse of power that seems to entangle itself with wall street bankers who have excesses of money and seem to continue serving purely selfish motives. In the case of patrol officers and sheriffs the average or mean annual salary is $53,810. This mean seems extraordinarily low, but when we realize the proportion of patrol officers to sheriffs it makes sense, or does it. In a corporation even a senior accountant makes this same median salary and they are on the low en of their profession. The primary difference is one wields a gun and the other a calculator, and fortunately the one with the gun is protecting us, but is underpaid.
The distinction of life preservation and salary are intertwined only hat they reflect education. The amount of hours an accountant goes to school and trains at their profession is about 20x more than a gun wielding officer of the law. In fact a professor of criminal psychology at USC once said in a lecture, “policeman go to school, or are trained for less hours than a cosmetologist < 25hrs”. This is a particularly haunting fact about those that carry guns around us that could potentially end our lives in an instant. I would personally like to see a greater requirement for education, psychological understanding, and training for those that are supposed to enforce laws and protect us. I would be happy to pay more taxes than I already do to fund policeman’s lives, support their families, rather than pay higher sales tax to support budget shortfalls and stack politicians pockets in the lovely Sunshine State.
For information regarding salaries and employment information for officers in CA please refer to the following government site: http://www.bls.gov/oes/current/oes333051.htm
Freedom or Demon
Today has marked a complex juxtaposition of foreign political affairs and justice being performed domestically. Yes, the two colliding forces between the Council of Guardians in Iran confirming the victory of Ahmadinejad and the conviction of Bernie Madoff for a sentence of one hundred and fifty years. Iran may be doomed for the same amount of time if the elastic rubber band of Ahmadinejad’s hatred returns with a catastrophic backlash of hatred.
Identifying monsters, tyrants, and thieves has been an art form practiced by law enforcement agencies, mystics, and paranormal mediums. There is no typical bad guy anymore. There is no John Wayne to ride in on a white horse and stop the aggressors from hurting our families and friends. The next white horse we see may be one of those belonging to the four horseman of the apocalypse. If we have no definition, no profile for what evil is then how can we begin to contain its reign over the world.
The problem is; our government and we as a society rely on physical profiles to assess the potential for wrongdoing. When a person wearing a bandana and baggy jeans walks into a convenience store, we immediately (based on physical appearance) think that they are going to rob the convenience store. The truth is we do not look at context. Is that convenience store located in South Central, Los Angeles, or on Park Avenue in Manhattan? The context may determine the predator that inhabits that domain; it then becomes their cultural and social instincts that are ingrained in them since birth, which determines the outcome.
The outcome is studying over and over by psychologist attempting to trace the roots of evil from the act of evil and into the developing mind of those people or person that committed such an act. We determine the source of their evil and attribute it to some abuse or action against them as a child. I believe this lack of foresight and obsession with the past psychological effects of childhood abuse to be a philosophical farce. It has grounded itself in the last century as predominate way of thinking, but it will not fulfill the demand of evil in the modern world.
Evil has many faces and one man such as Madoff, sentenced to 150 years; does not vindicate the victims of his scandal. The confirmation of an iconic dictator by a corrupt ‘Council’ under the behest of the Ayatollah does not liberate the hundreds of thousands of people who fought for freedom over the last month. There is no face of justice anymore besides our own subjective view of those around us. May that view not be clouded by material corruption and lead our mind’s astray. Let the victims who have lost their freedom, whether material or cultural, serve to remind us that evil has many masks that are less apparent to the eye than they are to the mind.
Congressional Smokeout
Congress voted yesterday to cease control over the tobacco industry’s ingredients and marketing of their products. That means no more Joe the Camel lighting up in a casino plastered across billboards in America. In fact you might just see billboards of people with tracheotomies advertising Marlboro instead.
The disturbing image is not the death of half a million Americans a year from smoking, but the constitutional liberties that are at stake here. I am a firm believer in write what you want. Today there is no more of a liberal frenzy over media censorship, than there is over social censorship. Here is our country up in arms against Iran saying that we want to liberate their private enterprise and their social freedoms, and yet we are tightening the noose around our own necks.
I am against smoking. As an ex-smoker of 7 years, the pains and filth stained on my body are irreconcilable. Nonetheless, I can only employ the truth that death is caused by household materials such as, detergents, dishwashing fluids, bleach, the list goes on and on. The point is that not one of these companies that have caused cancers in millions of Americans lives are being regulated by the Senate. The Government doesn’t regulate the marketing of these products because special interests are too widespread. The tobacco industry may be the first target, but surely not the last.
Just keep in mind that it could be your company that has the government’s hands in your coffers next year. As your marketing budget shrinks and revenues on advertising are taxed at higher rates, at least you know who is skimming your profits.
Middle East Under Pressure
The debate in the Middle East is heating up. In fact with pivotal elections in Lebanon and Iran, the entire hub of militant Middle Eastern countries lies in the hands of the voters. I am safely assuming that neither Ahmadenajad nor Hezbollah thought their fate rested in the hands of a voting democracy.
Obama’s recent trip to the Middle East triggered an anxiousness we have not seen among the greater Islam sects since Bush began air raids in Afghanistan. The question this time is? Does Obama have the ability to win the hearts and minds of the Arab nations as he did with America? I would like to believe that his speech in Cairo at least won the favoritism of the majority in Egypt. The Muslim brotherhood that also chimed in to the broadcast may not feel as amiable as the educated classes of Egypt, but at least according to the Financial Times “they watched it.”
I think as long as we have Presidential runner-ups such as John Kerry promoting nuclear technology in Iran, “They have a right to peaceful nuclear power and to enrichment in that purpose”, we may not have to worry about who wins the election. Considering Iran refuses to sign the Non Proliferation Treaty, it may be a fatal error to allow them to continue to enrich uranium when tensions are so high. We may just have to embrace that power is decided by force. This is an ideology that colonizers have been practicing for centuries. The Arab nations look toward the Christian Crusades for inspiration for their infadas. They to believe that wiping out another country and race is justified by subjective religious interpretation.
If we live in a modern time period, engaging in discussions within the Middle East’s Medieval time period, where judgment is cast by the many on a few, then who will be there for the reckoning… us or them? In the coming days we will witness how the dictators of Iran and the leaders of Hezbollah respond to the rights of their citizens. If they deny the voice of the youth and people of their great nation for their own indulgence of power, will we continue to lay down our arms at this belligerent display of tyranny?
Read More: http://www.ft.com/world/mideast/iran
Michael Dennis
The Isle of Mike 
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